Today, we were in the van before school and Cara had made a picture for Emma and Emma told her she didn’t want it and it hurt her feelings.
So, Emma said our little “before school” prayer and Cara said ” I want to add a prayer” and she said “please God, help no one to get in trouble at school, except Emma”…..I really tried not to laugh in front of them and tell them not to pray bad things on people….but it was funny! Ellie leaned over to me and whispered “that was kinda funny”…

Kids Getting Bigger

 I told my kids last night I thought they were getting so big and Cara said “I am still little, Mama” and I said “yes, you are the youngest”, then she said “it doesn’t matter how big I get, I will always be your baby” and she gave me a bigggg hug. So sweet.

Vans and Skeletons

Emma saw a scary picture yesterday at school. She says it is so scary she can’t describe it. So, here is today’s conversation in the van.

Me- Emma did you see any scary pictures today?

 Em- no, she didn’t bring the book today.

 Cara- I am NOT scared of skeletons.

 Emma- this was not a regular skeleton, it would scare you.

 Cara- skeletons have skeleton teeth (we went to the dentist about two weeks ago, she saw xrays)

 Emma- no, they don’t…

 Cara- Mama, they do don’t they?

Me- well, the teeth are usually still in the skull….

 Love the van rides……

Haunted House or Cracker Barrel

 We went to eat at the Cracker Barrel the other night. We never go out to eat because it is so expensive so Cara is not very familiar with Cracker Barrel.  We sat down and she kept inching toward me, cuddling my arm. She has been sick so I thought she was just cold or something.  Finally, she said “I am scared” and she pointed to the wall beside her chair.  Her eyes were big as saucers. She said “why is this place so scary”? I said, “the Cracker Barrel is fun, not scary”…she pointed to the wall and said “I am scared of that”… When I studied the wall, I realized what it must have looked like to a 6 year old.  There was a big, old picture of a man, as in most OLD pics, he was not smiling, there was a cutting board on the wall with a place for the knife, there was an old sign with some kind of blade on it, and there was a sledge hammer. All of these were hung right beside our table. I am thinking she thought we were having dinner at a slaughterhouse. 

 We traded seats and everything was fine. It was funny to look at things through the eyes of a six year old.

Cara’s Fever

 Cara has been sick. She has had a fever for two days and the result has been a migraine like headache.

 This has sent Emma over the edge. Emma, being the middle child, has competition and jealousy issues. Cara being sick enough to warrant so much attention has infuriated Emma.  She even stuck the thermometer in her mouth before I could wash it in hopes that she will catch the virus.

 She woke up today and said “Is Cara feeling better” but she said it through gritted teeth, ready to pounce into a fit of rage if the answer was “no”… So, no computer for Emma today since the answer was “no” and Emma made the morning unenjoyable for the rest of us.

 Today she found out her class is having a party on Friday for the kids that made their reading goal. They get to wear pajamas (which is heaven to my kids) so Emma no longer wants to be sick.

 Can you guess how this will probably end?

12 Years Ago Today

 12 years ago today, I got up early to go the the hospital to have a c-section. Ellie was breach so a c-section was mandatory.

 I got the epidural and then had to sit for 4 hours before they put the actual “meds” in. It made my neck hurt but no one cared to listen.  Really scary for a first time Mom. Finally, they took me to the operating room.  The doctor decided to pull out my uterus to show Kyle my ovaries…and I am lying there thinking “what the heck”!! 

 After all of the nurses and the doctor jumping on me with all of their body weight,  they pulled Ellie out.  As soon as they put her beside my face, she stopped crying….

 After all of the terror was over, all I felt was happiness. She was beautiful. I loved her instantly and realized what it meant to love someone more than you love yourself.

 Ellie Grace- I want to wish you a wonderful birthday. That you so much for making my life so happy. You are amazing!!! Love you bunches!!

so….

 We are still having a few issues with middle school. Well, with kids.

 Last night Ellie had her YUC farewell at church. It is where they move from the “youth under construction” to the real “youth”… it is a fun night with lots of memories shared.

 When we first got there, one of Ellie’s friends handed her a note from a girl at school that was really hateful to Ellie last May in the 6th grade.  I have blocked all contact from this child so she had to resort to going thru another YUC…(this child does not attend the same church as we do)….

 The letter was nasty…it ruined Ellie’s night for about an hour.  The cool thing was Ellie’s close friends cheered her up. Not because they had heard about the letter but because they are all so sweet and they love her.  Sometimes, having a talent (singing for Ellie, other things for other kids, too) can make kids target someone.  Ellie doesn’t care because her passion for singing is ENORMOUS! The kids last night embrace that and encourage Ellie to sing.  The meaning of true friendship prevailed and the night was a success.

 That leaves me with the mean note.  I am taking it to the principal on Monday to have the matter dealt with because the letter was written on school property and it is harrassment.  I am also praying for this child. God loves her too, no matter what. Ellie is praying for her too.  Life can be hard and lessons have to be learned. Good d will come from everything eventually…but it doesn’t make it any easier to have someone be mean to your child. LOL….

Middle School

 This has been an adjustment.  Ellie will be 12 next week. She is still so young. She has been tormented in middle school by some mean boys.  They have called her “ugly” and said other mean things.  It is heart breaking to a parent.

 After much prayer by lots of good friends….Ellie had a better day yesterday. Yay! Her teacher moved her away from the bully boy. She didn’t even mind walking in today.

 Life is hard when you have a middle schooler. It is like you have to wait until 3 pm for your heart to get home.

Today, I was taking Cara to a birthday party. On the way we passed a group of girls, they looked about 12…they were riding bikes on a busy street.

 me- oh my goodness, that girl is riding with her hands off the hadle bars…she could get hurt on this street!

 Cara- Well, ALSO, she has on a shirt that shows her belly button…I’ll bet she wants boys to look at her. I will never do that.

 me- I am glad you would never do that because I won’t let you do that.

 Cara- I mean, when I am older..I will never do that. I KNOW that I can’t do that at 6!  That is just not good for girls to dress like that.  Her mother must not have a brain to let her go out like that.

 me- Okay, let’s say, you are home without me and you are getting dressed…you look in your closet and see a shirt that shows your belly button…what do you do?

 Cara- well, I throw it away. I would not wear it….and I know Samantha (cara’s bestfriend) would never do that either.

 LOL! Cara is so dramatic when she talks that is is hilarious. Keep in mind, she has an almost 12 year old sister who I have to set a dress code with. lol…

Hi

 I have been writing on my Butterfly blog and neglecting this one.

 I’m not sure about the direction I want to take my blogs right now.  I love to write and love to read blogs.

 I suffer from depression. It is not easy, even on meds. I am extrememly moody and I tend to get my feelings hurt easily. I wish I could be confident enough not to let that happen but right now I am not.  Maybe one day. Right now, it is best for me to take one day at a time.  Some days are good, some are not. Either way, I have to be healthy and happy for my kids.

 I know with depression, there is power in speaking about it.  I will try to continue to write and be honest. The only thing that seems to work for me.